Moment of truth

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.

"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if ..."

The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."

The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

The new way to eat Noodles

My Brother is Going to Name the Child

A man and woman marry after a brief courtship and all is well for a time. Eventually they are blessed with child.

The woman's time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls the husband over. "Honey, there's something I really have to tell you. There is as an very old tradition in our families that the oldest living male gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother must name our first child. I know this comes as a shock, but I couldn't tell you earlier, because I didn't want to upset you."

"But, but..." sputters the husband "I know your brother. Wasn't he injured in the war? There's no question that he'll screw this up!"

"I'm sorry" says the wife, "but that's the way it has to be."

"All right" he sighs, "what did your brother name our daughter?"

"Denise," says the mother, quietly, and the husband sighs in relief. Just then the doctor informs them that they are about to be parents of male and female twins.

"Oh no", sighs the woman.

"What is it, love?"

"The boy's name is Denephew."