10 Stupid Question?

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus: A heavy man wearing huge army shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again. 3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years... Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa eat pineapple or not. You bet I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron. 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...... 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed. 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a friend asks... Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke. Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!! At the blackjack table: Q: When is the best time to split tens? A: When the table is full and your buddy needs a seat.