Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.
Mate, it's obvious,' says the lifeguard, 'you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya mate...you'll have all the babes ya want!'
The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, and laughing, looking sick!
So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, 'What's wrong now?'
JAHEESUS!' said the lifeguard, 'Mate. The potato goes in front!'