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Lovemaking tips for seniors
- Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
- Set timer for 2 minutes, just in case you doze off in the middle.
- Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
- Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
- Write partner's name on your hand just in case you can't remember.
- Keep the Polygraph close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
- Have Extra-Strength Tylenol ready just in case you actually complete what you started.
- Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
- If it happens, call everyone you know with the good news.
- Don't even think about trying it twice.