Aboriginal Style

An Aboriginal bloke goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute. He asks , "How much do you charge for DA hour, sister?" "$100," she replies. He says "Okay, do you do Aboriginal style?" She says "No" "I'll pay you $200 to do it Aboriginal style" he said. She again says "No" since she doesn't know what Aboriginal style is. So he then offers her $300. Again she declines his offer. So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Aboriginal style with me!" Finally, she agrees, thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and I've done that: had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world, how bad could Aboriginal Style be?' So she goes ahead and has sex with him - doing it in every kind of way and In every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours, they finish. Exhausted, she turns to him and says, "That was fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much, but I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the'Aboriginal style' come in?" The Aboriginal replies "Send DA bill to DA Gub'ment."

Sexy Couple in Pool

Walking

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him. After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

Thanksgiving

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!

Burglary

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

Pumpkin Carvings this halloween